come closer one second
okay close enough
i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?
that would be me.
do you know what this crown means?
it means i look fucking cute
and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt
now as your fucking queen, i royally declare
that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema
Harry Potter drinking game: chug the whole bottle when dobby dies because when dobby dies you die too
asexual sirens getting real fuckin pissed about all these sailors interrupting choir rehearsal
asexual sailors getting tired of having to rescue other sailors from sirens
they see each other when the ships sail past the rocks and they share a commiserating nod like, “can you believe this shit? every single time.”